This morning the sun rises on Mother’s Day. That song by the Beatles came to mind—-

Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear

Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right

The song is a happy tune about coming out of something difficult (a long cold lonely winter). Some of us are at the beginning of the long cold lonely winter: can’t see a glimpse of sunlight. Some are in the middle: seeing a few days of sunlight. Some are having more sunny days than dark. But, having hope that the sun will come one day helps!

And, it’s all right. Wherever we are in this grief journey. “It’s all right.” You can make it through the darkest, hardest of days. It may not feel like it, but you CAN!

Leading up to this day,  I have been thinking about what the Lord has in store for me for the next 40 years.  What CAN I do? Instead of focusing on the difficulties of the past (the long cold lonely winter), I need/want to focus on the possibilities of the future (here comes the sun). 

Life with God doesn’t start in heaven. For me, it started 33 years ago. A purpose with things to do. He has JOY, fulfillment for me to experience here on earth. 

I acknowledge the hurt, the missing, the wishing it were different today; but I can’t change it. Just now, a picture of my son called “Eyelashes in the Sun” popped up.  I had specifically placed him on the bed trying to take a picture of his very long eyelashes in the sun. I can see his baby hands, nose, cheeks. My beautiful baby. I want to touch his baby face. Even as I write, that deep hurt aches. I miss him dearly. My husband and I have a deep cry looking at the picture together holding each other. At every turn, there is a reminder. I can be grateful for this memory and the love we shared. But, I cannot bring him back. I can’t change the past, but I can look to the future.

What do I know that I CAN do as a mom?

Titus 2:3-5

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I CAN teach what is good!!! I CAN be reverent. I CAN not slander or be addicted to much wine. I CAN follow the Lord having character (even in the middle of my suffering). I CAN love my husband and children encouraging others to do the same. I CAN be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind, being respectful to my husband helping others to do the same. I CAN pray for younger people to love and have HOPE.

I have made it through a year and nine months of the most excruciatingly dark days. The sun is beginning to peak out. I am grateful and it’s alright.